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  • test   |   

    test

    Specialist

        Specialist
        Harvard University graduate
        San Francisco
    Specialist   |    Mar,01,2021

    When enough is really enough?

    Hi. I am a mother of two beautiful kids and married to their father for fifteen years. All these fifteen years, it’s a long struggle only to remain together like it’s an everyday battle. Nothing so big that i or he could quit but there is definitely nothing good either. Our emotional, physical bonding has come down to lesser than zero. No liking for each other. Nothing we appreciate about each other whereas, both of us are taking good care of our unavoidable responsibilities but there is no affection. Our fights are out and open in front of our kids. We don’t share laugh anymore nor we share the bed either. I will reiterate, both of us serve our duties well. Looking for some serious advise on this. Is it even fair to live a life without love and respect or after becoming parents, we are solely responsible to raise kids?

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    • Luzmery Romero

      Luzmery Romero

      Specialist

          Specialist
          Harvard University graduate
          San Francisco

      Hi!
      I hope you are well, it is really regrettable what you tell in your story. Staying in a relationship for the sake of the children, economic stability, or any other situation is a harsh reality that many people experience. However, I do not believe that maintaining a relationship in which there is no love, understanding, attraction or happiness should be an option.
      This issue is quite controversial, and everyone is free to decide what they want about it. But I will tell you what I advise my patients: when there is no trace of a healthy relationship, it is best to make a respectful closure. If you are parents, it is important that you answer this question: what is most valuable? that your children see parents together but who do not love each other? and so learn that love is secondary; Or on the contrary, that they have happy, healthy parents available to them, who know how to set limits?
      I believe that everyone in life has the opportunity and the right to find our purpose and be happy.
      I know it takes courage to part, but I also know that it can be done in a healthy way with proper communication.
      Hopefully what I tell you will make you feel more hopeful, and I advise psychotherapy as a way to close cycles and learn to recognize our personal resources.
      I wish you the best!

      02 Jun, 2021

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